Growing Up

In my "about me" statement, I noted that I am "still waiting to feel like a grown-up." As of today, the waiting is over.

Today I watched a 47 year old man take the reins as the "leader of the free world." As a 47 year old myself, I think the willingness to take on that level of responsibility qualifies as being a grown-up.

What qualifies a person as being considered responsible? It is a willingness to put yourself second to the needs of others. It is doing things you don't feel like doing simply because they need to get done. It is being someone that others can rely on, being there when you say you will be. It is the doing of things for their own sake, and not for any ultimate benefit you may receive. It is the "putting away of childish things."

I was mulling this over while I was raking up sheep poop this afternoon. I was thinking about the gradual transformation some of us go through as we change from carefree 20-somethings to responsible 40-somethings. You don't even know it is happening until it's already happened. One day you realize that you haven't lounged in bed for years, that you read books by the pages rather than the chapters, that playing with your friends has taken a back seat to taking a family member to a doctor's appointment. Some of it you miss. Some of it you wonder why you ever wasted so much time. Moments of freedom are precious and few.

The funny thing is...I like this other way of being. I like being needed, of needing to take care of others. I like helping where and when I can. Yes, I even like raking sheep poop (most days).

But I must be honest...I don't fit the reponsibility bill on the "benefit" side. There are lots of benefits, realized and hidden, to being responsible. The most important? The wonderful feeling you get for showing up. It's schmaltzy, I know, but the biggest gift you can give yourself is giving of yourself.

Perhaps I've been confused about being grown-up. Seems I've been a grown-up all along.