Little Lamb Lost

We recently lost one of our first lambs, an event that I fought with all my resources. In the end I had to make the unpleasant decision to put her down, even though, at that moment, she seemed to be rallying. But I listened closely to what the vet was telling me, the hopelessness of the situation, and made the hard decision that I knew in my heart was right for her.

The vet’s office offered to dispose of her little body, but I knew it was better for her and me to come home and to nourish the land from which she came. She was so lovely and peaceful and clean at her passing that it seemed wrong somehow to simply put her directly into the earth, so I cut up an old worn soft sheet, wrapped her in it and sewed it up. I carefully placed some lavender in a fold and placed her in the ground, under one of our grand old pines, in an area the sheep graze in the spring. She looked like the precursor to an Egyptian mummy lying there in the earth.

The weather that afternoon was abysmal, but I took the time to say some words to thank her for her gentle spirit, said a prayer to ask for her welcome to the fields of the Lord, with special gratitude to Saint Francis in appreciation of his loving care of us during this awful time. The whole experience was surprisingly healing.

A couple of weeks later, we opened the field where the lamb is buried up to grazing by the ewes and their lambs. After some frenetic grazing, they settled down for a nice long rumination, and I was delighted to see that the lambs where closely grouped together and lying on top of the lost lambs grave. They repeatedly have returned to that spot for their quiet time.

Do the lambs know their sister lies beneath them? Are they comforted by her presence? Or was it just by chance that I chose that particular spot? In the end it doesn’t really matter. My belief is that they are all connected, in this plane and beyond, and that they are drawn there by a feeling of peace and safety. I am thankful we are blessed to provide our animals this tranquil sanctuary.